2009 was a horrible year!

2009 started off great. We went to Mexico on a cruise and spent way too much on pampering ourselves! In April, Jenna, my sister, got married.

On April 23, 2010, we were at a friend's house helping them move. I missed a phone call from my mom. So, I went into the office of my friend's house to call her back. This is when my mom asked me if I was sitting down because she had something important to tell me. She said that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer. My heart dropped into my tummy. She followed it up with...."If it is my time to go, then I am ready to meet Jesus." I gave her so much crap for saying that in the same sentence as having told me she was sick. I know now that she knew her days were very numbered. May was a hard month of tests for her and then Memorial weekend she went to ER and was admitted. She couldn't eat and was feeling very sick. The doctors wanted to transfer her to Sienna to be in the cancer unit. She went home to wait for a bed at Sienna. About 3 days later, she went to Sienna and checked into the hospital. I decided that I wanted to be close and so I took an intermitten leave of absence to help my step dad. I got the call around 10a on June 9, 2009 from my step dad. He said that the doctors say if she has family that they need to come. I was very upset. So, I left school and was at the hospital by 11:30a. I stayed by her side for the next few days while she was in the hospital. She was fighting but I could tell she was losing. :( Her last words to me on June 11, 2009 were - "Kelly, I love you." The only thing I could say was I love you back. I had to go to the restroom to hide my tears. I didn't want her to see me upset. The sent her home for home hospice on Friday the 12th. I was able to go visit her Tuesday the 16th. I told her how much I loved her and that it was okay for her to go. At this point, she wasn't able to talk to me. I sat there and held her hand for a few hours. The next day I had to go to school just to try and not think about what was happening to my best friend...my mom. About 6pm on June 17, 2009, my mom left this world to go be with Jesus. I miss her everyday! I never thought that my mom would leave me...I know she didn't have a choice. She was always there for me! ALWAYS! Almost a year later, and I still have tears flowing from my eyes.

I read a poem she wrote to me at her memorial service. She wrote it in a book she gave me a few years ago called "Bad Childhood, Good Life" by Dr. Laura.

Here is the poem:

Kelly-
I never meant to hurt you
or cause you any pain
If I could, I'd reach out
And take it back again.
...I'd crush your grief and sorrow
And bottle it so tight.
That never would it once again
Be seen in bright daylight.
And then I'd take that bottle
And fling it out to sea
And let the waters take it
Far away from you and me
I love you,
Mom

If you know the author please tell me. Thanks!


So, many of you know our struggle to get pregnant. I found out on July 18, 2009, that I was expecting a baby. I couldn't believe it. After all the hurt and pain, did my heart have the strength to go through a pregnancy. Well, obviously with God's strength I was able to have a wonderful baby boy on March 2, 2010. He was due on March 17, 2010. That is exactly 9 months to the day that my mom passed away. I had Jack Andrew at 5:53pm. Which my mom passed at 6pm. Of course, Jack is a go getter and couldn't wait till the 17th....He wanted OUT! They induced me because I was having high blood pressure issues. Want to read more????? Read the post - Jack's Birth!